i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
