I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
