How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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