Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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