i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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