And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
