i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Randomize
