me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
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We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
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She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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