It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Dick very happy bro
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
