Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
