why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
