So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
We are all done wearing pants today
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize