..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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