Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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