if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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