Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
