Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
