I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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