are you so shy because you have an std?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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