at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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