it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
