Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Just high enough for therapy.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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