glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
