is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
