I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
