U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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