Heybabeimwearingurpanties
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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