Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
