Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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