let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
