Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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