you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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