i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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