its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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