i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
its not stalking. its research.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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