i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
