Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
