i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
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He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
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Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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