Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
