using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.