i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies