We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN