My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
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you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
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I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
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