Texts From Last Night

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  (314): View more from Missouri

  So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.

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  (314): So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs. http://tfl.nu/yiuw
  Replies (16) Good night (1022) Bad night (3538)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?

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  (917): giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong? http://tfl.nu/9q3v
  Replies (172) Good night (5139) Bad night (17244)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.

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  (732): I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it. http://tfl.nu/c1o6
  Replies (5) Good night (2973) Bad night (2078)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.

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  (803): life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin. http://tfl.nu/2cdm
  Replies (15) Good night (3239) Bad night (1373)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.

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  (937): The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me. http://tfl.nu/27v8
  Replies (3) Good night (989) Bad night (2196)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.

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  (267): I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it. http://tfl.nu/g3cm
  Replies (3) Good night (1240) Bad night (1602)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement

  (310): View more from California

  oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.

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  (310): Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement (310): oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos. http://tfl.nu/drm3
  Replies (6) Good night (2257) Bad night (679)
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  (325): View more from Texas

  I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?

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  (325): I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good? http://tfl.nu/0pjz
  Replies (3) Good night (710) Bad night (1062)
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  (607): View more from New York

  So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.

  (607): View more from New York

  These are the moments that bond souls forever.

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  (607): So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan. (607): These are the moments that bond souls forever. http://tfl.nu/nwlm
  Replies (2) Good night (1030) Bad night (470)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?

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  (267): Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules? http://tfl.nu/67jh
  Replies (4) Good night (1037) Bad night (485)
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  (510): View more from California

  I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.

  (1-510): View more from California

  Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume

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  (510): I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion. (1-510): Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume http://tfl.nu/f5c6
  Replies (1) Good night (803) Bad night (288)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.

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  (631): Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down. http://tfl.nu/giqk
  Replies (5) Good night (764) Bad night (341)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.

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  (219): They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M. http://tfl.nu/5crd
  Replies (1) Good night (480) Bad night (323)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.

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  (301): I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again. http://tfl.nu/3xfs
  Replies (2) Good night (341) Bad night (269)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked

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  (586): yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked http://tfl.nu/ko03
  Replies (1) Good night (199) Bad night (769)

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