Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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