I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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