you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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