Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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