I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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