dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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