Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I think my fart just growled at me.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
