connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
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