I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Randomize
