i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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