weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Randomize
