I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
