Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
no you cant smoke seaweed
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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