the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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