I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
