Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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