We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
