why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
