i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
