I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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