I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
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