We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Randomize
